He once had a promising career
as a schoolyard bully,
but due to his chunky tummy
and occassional lisp,
he was forced to retire.
He used to test experimental
pharmaceuticals
but he unfortunately proved
immune to all abuses
of the body.
For a time he also used
to write romance novels, but
could only think of two
euphamisms
for penis.
Due to these reasons
and many more
he has resigned himself
to a life of poetry.